We are taught that spanking a child is a non-caring thing to do. Some would even say that there should be laws against it. They see spanking as bad. They would say a parent that spanks their child does not really love them and is taking advantage of someone who cannot fight back.
(If love is based on “if your parents spanked you are not”, my parents really didn’t love me. But I know they did and still do)
I understand where these people are coming from. There are parents who really don’t spank… they beat their children… out of anger and frustration. That is wrong. The bible speaks against this.
A beating is not a spanking… its a beating.
A spanking is done out of love, and hurts enough to make the point that something needs to change.
Proverbs 13:24 says “he who withholds his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him diligently.”
Now the rod is not “time out”… in english or in hebrew. Its a spanking. Scripture teaches “to withhold the rod” is to not love your child. Why? Because you are refusing to curb the bad behavior your child is displaying. If the foolish behavior is not corrected.. life will correct it later… with the tough times that come as a result of that attitude or action.
If you refuse to correct it, it shows your lack of caring for your child.
Hate is a strong word. (13:24)
A few things here just to be clear….
Discipline is done out of love not frustration. If it isn’t breaking your heart to have to do it, then you’re not ready.
Discipline must to be consistent. Don’t continually threaten over and over again. Say it once and follow through. Thats diligence.
Make sure the punishment fits the crime. Every situation that arises may not need a spanking. Use wisdom.
In raising your children this way, they learn to listen to the wisdom of others. They learn there are consequences for the choices they make, they understand there is a right and wrong way to live and hopefully, they will follow the way of wisdom.
Now read back through chapter 13. Take each verse and write what you want your children to be like when they are older.
13:1 – I want my children to listen to people when they are called out on something they have done wrong. I want them to accept that rebuke and change.
13:2 – I want my children to speak positive words to others and enjoy the good that comes from using the right sort of speech.
13:3 – I want my children to grow up with the habit of thinking before they speak.
If you do this exercise it will serve as a guide for what to look for when it comes to directing your child’s path.