Men fight.
We fight for what matters to us.
We fight to provide.
We fight to protect.
We fight to build something.
We fight to keep the people we love safe.
There’s something in a man that wants to stand between his family and whatever might hurt them.
Give us a problem and we want to solve it.
Give us something broken and we’ll try to fix it.
Give us something threatening the people we love and something inside of us rises up.
We were made to fight for what we love.
But not every fight happens standing up.
Some of the greatest battles a man will ever fight for his family will happen—
on his knees.
Prayer Isn’t Retreat
Somewhere along the way, prayer became associated with passivity.
We even talk about it that way.
When we’ve tried everything else, when we’ve exhausted our options, when we’ve reached the place where there’s nothing left we can do, someone says:
“Well, I guess all we can do now is pray.”
All we can do?
Think about that.
We can walk into the presence of Almighty God.
We can call the names of our wives and children before the One who created them.
We can ask God to go places we cannot go.
To see what we cannot see.
To prepare them for what we don’t know is coming.
To give them wisdom.
To strengthen their faith.
To surround them with the right people.
To guide their decisions.
To guard their hearts.
And we call that all we can do?
Prayer isn’t retreat.
Prayer isn’t passive.
Prayer isn’t the white flag a man waves when he’s run out of strength.
Prayer is a man recognizing where his strength comes from.
Don’t Wait for the Battle
This is where we sometimes get it backward.
We wait until something happens.
The marriage gets difficult.
One of the kids starts struggling.
The doctor calls.
The finances get tight.
A relationship breaks.
Fear moves into the house.
Then we pray.
And of course we should pray in those moments.
But why wait?
A man doesn’t have to wait for his family to be in trouble before he starts fighting for them.
Pray when your marriage is strong.
Pray when your children are laughing.
Pray when everybody is healthy.
Pray when the bills are paid.
Pray when your son is making good decisions.
Pray when your daughter is thriving.
Pray when you and your wife are closer than you’ve ever been.
Pray when the house is peaceful.
Pray when life is good.
Don’t wait for something to go wrong before you start calling their names before God.
Prayer isn’t just how we respond to battles.
Prayer is how we prepare for battles we haven’t seen yet.
Job Prayed Before Everything Fell Apart
Before Job lost anything, he prayed.
That’s easy to miss.
We remember Job praying in his suffering.
We remember the messengers.
The livestock.
The fire.
The wind.
His children.
The boils.
The ashes.
But before any of that happened, Job was already a praying father.
Scripture says:
“Job would send and sanctify them… and offer burnt offerings according to the number of them all.”
—Job 1:5
His children were living their lives.
They were eating.
Drinking.
Celebrating.
Nothing was wrong.
There was no emergency.
There was no crisis.
And Job was praying for them.
Job didn’t wait for trouble to become a praying father.
Before the battle ever reached his house, Job had already been on his knees.
Maybe that’s something we’ve lost.
Prayer isn’t only calling on God because something has gone wrong.
Prayer is calling on God because there are people in your life worth fighting for.
There Are Places You Cannot Go
Eventually your children will walk into rooms without you.
They’ll have conversations you won’t hear.
They’ll face decisions you won’t get to make.
They’ll encounter temptations you won’t see coming.
They’ll meet people you don’t know.
They’ll experience moments when Dad isn’t standing beside them.
Your wife will carry things you cannot carry for her.
She’ll have thoughts you cannot hear.
Questions you cannot answer.
Dreams you cannot fulfill for her.
There are places the people you love will go where you simply cannot follow.
But God can.
That’s why prayer is so powerful.
You are putting the people you love into the hands of the One who can go everywhere you cannot.
Paul wrote:
“For we wrestle not against flesh and blood…”
—Ephesians 6:12
Notice the word.
Wrestle.
That’s not passive.
That’s struggle.
Resistance.
Engagement.
There is more happening around your family than you can see.
And prayer allows a man to fight in places his hands could never reach.
Your Family Needs a Dangerous Man
Not dangerous to them.
Dangerous for them.
A man whose strength is under the authority of God.
A man who knows how to stand when standing is required.
And knows how to kneel when kneeling is required.
A man who doesn’t need a crisis to become spiritual.
A man who doesn’t wait for the house to be on fire before he starts praying over it.
A man who knows what his wife is carrying—and prays for her.
A man who knows the names of his children’s friends—and prays for them.
A man who prays over the relationships his children haven’t even formed yet.
A man who prays about decisions that haven’t even been made yet.
A man who walks through his house when everyone else is asleep and quietly calls their names before God.
Maybe he stands outside his child’s bedroom and whispers:
“God, give them wisdom.”
“Guard their heart.”
“Strengthen their faith.”
“Give them courage.”
“Put the right people around them.”
“Help them become everything You created them to be.”
Maybe he looks at his wife and prays:
“Strengthen her.”
“Give her joy.”
“Give her wisdom.”
“Let her know how deeply she is loved.”
“Help me love her well.”
Nobody may ever hear those prayers.
Nobody may ever know he prayed them.
That’s okay.
He’s not praying to be seen.
He’s fighting for the people he loves.
God, Start With Me
And eventually something happens when a man spends enough time praying for his family.
He realizes he doesn’t only want God to work around him.
He wants God to work through him.
So he begins to pray another kind of prayer:
“God, start with me.”
Make me stronger where I need strength.
Give me wisdom for decisions I don’t know how to make yet.
Give me patience when the people I love need patience.
Give me courage when my family needs someone to stand.
Give me tenderness when strength isn’t what the moment requires.
Help me see what they need before they have to ask.
Teach me to listen.
Teach me to lead.
Teach me to love my wife like Christ loves His church.
Give me the words my children need to hear.
Give me the wisdom to know when to speak and the strength to know when to stay quiet.
Make my presence bring peace into my home.
Make my life something my children can follow.
God, make me more of the man You created me to be.
That’s not a prayer of defeat.
That’s a man stepping into his calling.
He’s not kneeling because he believes he’s a failure.
He’s kneeling because he believes God isn’t finished with him.
There is more strength to be found.
More wisdom to gain.
More courage to develop.
More love to give.
More of God to know.
And the man who understands that doesn’t have to be ashamed of what he isn’t yet.
He just keeps becoming.
Tomorrow, he gets up and loves again.
Leads again.
Provides again.
Shows up again.
And gets on his knees and prays again.
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