“The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down.” Proverbs 14:1
We joke, we laugh, we poke fun when we say “the man is the head of the household but the woman is the neck.”
Meaning she is really the one in charge.
But even when she thinks she is in charge, God has designed marriage in such a way that the husband is still the one that is in control. He may not fight with her, he might not push her, he may give up trying to lead but in choosing not to do those things he is still the head of the household.
Neck included.
However, that does not mean the wife is weak and meaningless because in reality the wife has an extreme amount of power and influence. She has the ability to “build her house or tear it down” based on what she does and what she says.
The other evening I happened to stop on a “Everyone Like’s Raymond” Episode where His wife and his brother’s previous two girlfriends were eating in a restaurant . Their conversation, though they laughed and laughed, was a conversation of “folly” as they joked about the two men. In a manner of a few moments, they made them look like fools and laughed it off as if it was ok to say embarrassing things about them. They were portrayed as feeling “cool” and having a “good time” but what they were doing was tearing down their “houses”. This is what happens anytime a group of ladies gets together and they make fun of their husbands. They don’t realize it, but every time this occurs they weaken the foundation of their home and then wonder why things are not as they should be.
But this isn’t only when women talk in “a negative joking manner” about their husbands. It is when they also throw their kids in the mix. Recently, I met with a couple and their child (NOT a family at Farmington Baptist) and we worked through a situation where the mom had friends over and the kid not only heard the ladies talking about their kids and the “stupid things” they do but also this child heard their mother talk about them in the same way. Instantly grades at school and discipline issues arose (which is why they came to me) but in talking with the family, it was soon revealed the child’s feelings were hurt by the one who gave them birth. It tore them apart.
Why?
Because women are powerful, a mother’s word is unmatched in influence, it can build her house or tear it down.
Arguments, yelling at kids, never being happy, always complaining about something, tears down a home especially when coming from a lady.
But women do not just have the power to destroy a home… they have a power to build one, that far exceeds anything a man can do.
There is nothing like a mother’s care and concern for her husband and her children. It is powerful beyond description. When she loves, she holds, she feels and gives words of encouragement and care it is a very powerful thing. There is nothing like a husband hearing from a wife’s friend that she spoke highly of you. When a child hears a mother speak highly of them to her friends nothing compares to the confidence that brings to their heart.
There is nothing more stabilizing than a wife that gets behind and supports her husband even when he knows she doesn’t totally agree but is going to back him up anyway without giving him grief over the issue. There is nothing more persuasive than that. It’s far more powerful than slamming doors, the silent treatment, or a angry demeanor (though those things make us feel powerful). The support of a wife does more to build a good home than most realize. In fact it’s the only way the home gets to how she wants it, and that is something that the path of destructiveness and folly never achieves.
So, if you are a lady reading this…
know this…
You are powerful… very powerful and your home being built correctly depends on you living with wisdom. So run from the temptation to be foolish.
“The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down.” Proverbs 14:1
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