The Bovine Chronicles I

Mildred Moo! Mildred Moo!

What Betsy Moo?

Gurtrude Moo has fallen down the hill.

Oh my, is she still down there? Do we need to go help her?

It’s no use, she can’t move, she thinks she broke her T-bone and bruised her Filet.

Poor girl.

I know right, but I kept telling her she’d gained too much weight in her Brisket. 

Besides that her Round had gotten huge. It had become quite the Rump if you ask me.

That’s what happens when you stop mooooving around the pasture, and just stand in one spot all day eating from the brown round dead grass container instead. I kept telling her that was junk food and that the green stuff was much better for her, but hey who listens to me… right?

I’m sorry Mildred Moo, I missed most of what you just said. My Ribeyes are cramping a little bit from running all the way up here to you.

Well, Betsy Moo, your Ribs are no longer in their Prime…

And just what is that suppose to mean? I think someone’s got their Skirt all twisted up.

Well thats better than having weak Shanks…

Mildred Moo if you don’t watch what you’re saying I’m going to pound you so hard you’ll be permanent Ground Beef.

Betsy Moo, if you even try that I’ll hit you so hard you’ll be on the Ground sitting on your Round and your Chuck will come up.

(Silence and more silence until they had Tenderized a bit…)

I’m sorry I said those things…

Me too Betsy Moo.

We really need to go down to see Gurtrude Moo. Cows often disappear after an accident like that.

You’re right.

Two cows slowly began to make their way to the bottom of the hill where their friend was, Tooting periodically along the way.

Betsy Moo have you noticed that it seems to be hotter now than when we were growing up?

Nope, I haven’t noticed that at all.