Attention Pastors

When I first saw this video, I didn’t laugh.

I almost cried.

If there ever was satire that was “sadly” funny but true…
this is it.

The issue here is twofold… and it’s not just the church’s fault this happens.


This post is written to pastors, a group of people I have an enormous amount of respect for (in part because I am one).

Here are some reasons why what is in this video shouldn’t be true of you or me.

1. Our Wife’s well being is more important than “our” church’s. This is the way it should be and it is up to us to make sure we create that reality.

2. Our children’s well being is more important than “our” church’s. This is the way it should be and it is up to us to create that reality.

3. The number one way we can remain faithful to God is to be faithful to the family He has given us. To push them aside and allow the church to take their place is to serve the church for our own selfish reasons.

I know #3 is harsh… but it’s true and I need the reminder.

Is your family more important to you than your church?

Do you act that way?

If you are always answering your phone, texting someone in your congregation, or answering your email, your family is in second place.

If you are always studying, or go days with out seeing your family because you are always at the hospital, a church meeting or organizing the latest outreach event. Your family is in second place.

If you spend more time talking to other people’s kids than you do your own or if you pay more attention, spend more time with other people’s families than you do your own. Your family is in second place.

Don’t put them in second place… make sure they have first place in your life.

Now don’t get all “spiritual” and say “God should have first place in our life”…

You and I both know that’s just an excuse to stay addicted to the church…

and being addicted to the church doesn’t help your family at all.


Help your family by setting up some boundaries for yourself, like…

1. Set aside time for your family each day.

2. Do not allow church work to interrupt your family time but allow your family to interrupt your church work. Trust me, there is always something to do “church work wise” and it will be there when you get back to it. Your family will suffer if they are the ones you are “always getting back to.”

3. When you are home, be fully home. This means you may need to let some calls go to voice mail, and resist the inclination to look at an incoming text when it beeps.

4. Get involved with your family wherever they are at in life. Be involved at their school, make it to their games or events (put them on your schedule and be there) and make sure your wife knows you care. (Do not be late for dinner or answer your phone as soon as you walk through the door.)

Your family needs to know you think they are important. They need to see that you value them more than any other group of people in this world.

BTW – This post is written by a recovering SPA (Super Pastor Addict), I have been clean now going on 6 years. And the strong relationships (with my wife and children) that have resulted have been more than worth it.

I would say they are “priceless.”

Here is a great podcast by “my friend” Andy Stanley on this subject called “Choosing to Cheat.” (look for #8) or you can get his book that has the same title “Choosing to Cheat”.

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