It would be nice to be more powerful…

I sit here today… at my house… working from home… studying for future sermons… but stopping about every 30 minutes or so… with people and their situations on my mind… wishing….

I was more powerful…

If there was a lottery that had the promise of making me more powerful if I just played and won it…

I would play it.

The truth is I am weak…

A weak leader…

A weak pastor…

A weak friend.

There are just things I can’t do…

I’m not powerful enough.

I wish I was powerful enough to prevent marriages from breaking up.

I wish I was powerful enough to get people to understand the damage they are about to cause to the kingdom by the choice they are about to make…

I wish I was powerful enough to encourage people to the point they no longer greave.

I wish I was powerful enough to heal people.

I wish I was powerful enough to come up with a solution for people who have cancer that not only would heal them of it but would allow their bodies to not be harmed by the solution.

I wish I was powerful enough to prevent the next crime, the next murder.

I wish I was powerful enough to prevent the next kid from trying porn, drugs or alcohol for the first time.

I wish I could protect people, prevent people from participating in sex outside of marriage.

I wish I could solve the problems we face everyday of our lives so we would have a little bit of heaven here on earth.

But I can’t.

Can’t even come close.

My heart is breaking today for reasons I can’t explain publicly.  There are multiple reasons – not just one.  Sometimes you wonder if anyone listened, if you are just a big joke, if its worth all the time you invest in people.  If God may have made a mistake giving you the responsibility of shepherding his people or if you have some how missed what he really wanted you to do with that calling.  Did you preach the right sermons, did you do everything you could, etc…

Sometimes you feel so powerless…

But maybe that’s the point.

Not that God caused everything to happen to make a point to “me” alone… no thats not it…

But maybe the point is I am not called to wield a power so strong it can solve all the woes of the people God sent me to pastor.

That’s the Saviors job.

My job is to continue pointing people to Him and His word…

and at the end of the day, that is all the power I need.