For me… 15 years later… those days are a blur. What is clear to me now is, my “right way” in the early days, was not about it really being “the right way”…. it was about control…. and winning.
Marriage has a way of doing away with “the right way” syndrome.
In the first few weeks of marriage you quickly learn that she has “a right way” of doing things and is ready to tell you your way is wrong. Then, (as all people do who will not stop and learn how to handle this, and who want to remain in control), an argument begins. Why? Because her right way (to you) is the wrong way. Thus causing both “right ways” to collide, and the battle for control begins.
These are not “happy” times. And tensions rise until something “has to give”.
So either 1. the marriage gives and soon is over or 2. You give up your desire for control, and your unhealthy attachment to “the right way”.
The reason Nicole’s (my wife) “right way” bothers me is the same reason your spouse’s “right way” bothers you. Their “right way” reminds us that control is an illusion and we do not like to be reminded of that. We want to control the outcomes in our lives. We want to win, be right and we want it done our way.
But life never plays by our rules.
Instead life pushes us to trust the One who created it and that trust means letting go of our way and following His.
After 15 years of marriage, I love Nicole and look forward to moving on through life with her as a team.
“and together we will find our way.”