It is very striking to say the least, that Jonah the prophet wants God to kill him because God is Gracious, Merciful, slow to anger and Abounding in grace to everyone. (Jonah 4:4)
Just kill me….
As odd as this phrase is it is a phrase of control. It’s like Jonah is saying “Maybe God will relent on His relenting when he realizes how hurt I am”.
Anger is its own method of trying to control a situation. Anger tends to happen when we lose control.
There were reasons why Jonah could point the finger at the Assyrians and call foul.
They did this….
They did that…
They are horrible…
They, They, They…
This is also a tactic of control. It is a diversion. A diversion to get the focus off our own heart’s condition.
Jonah is more than willing to work on everyone elese wrong…. he is more than willing to point the finger and say they are in the wrong. He is more than willing for them to receive the punishment they deserve.
Not so willing to admit his own wrong.
He will not look in his own heart.
Sometimes God does things, like save a whole nation, to make us wrestle with what is inside.
Sometimes God makes that person or group successful in order for us to wrestle with what is really going on inside our own soul and we either wrestle with it and come to grips with it, or we go further and further into dispare….
I don’t belong,
I don’t fit in,
I don’t want to accept the reality God has placed around me,
just kill me.
I’ll just retreat.
The “problem” with this method?
God is not willing to give up on you. He continues to work with us, to get our attention so we will deal with what is wrong inside of us.
So our life will change… for the better.
Are you willing to look inside and let God show you what needs to change?