I’ll be honest.
About ten minutes after I first heard the term servant leadership, something about it bothered me.
I didn’t want it to. It sounded spiritual. Humble. Right.
But there was something inside me that kept saying, That’s not the whole truth.
At first, I was embarrassed that I felt that way.
So I did what you’re supposed to do. I reflected on my pride. I asked myself hard questions.
Was this my ego?
Was I the kind of person who cared more about position than people?
Was this concept exposing something broken in me?
If it was, I wanted to change. And there were times, listening to speakers and reading books on the subject, that I came close to repenting. Sometimes I did.
But afterward, I felt worse.
Because deep down, I was repenting of something I didn’t actually agree with.
It wasn’t until recently, as our church leadership was working through a book together, that I finally realized why servant leadership had rubbed me wrong for so long.
Most of what I had heard only described about two-fifths of what servant leadership actually is.
And when you only teach those two parts, you don’t strengthen leaders—you weaken them.
You unintentionally teach them to serve people’s desires instead of leading people where they need to go.
Leadership Is About People
At its core, leadership is about people.
It doesn’t matter if you’re a pastor, a CEO, a business owner, a teacher, or a parent. Leadership is about helping people become what they were created to be.
Leadership goes wrong when the mission becomes more important than the people. When profits matter more than customers. When growth matters more than relationships.
Even families produce something—not a product you sell, but something far more important: people of integrity who contribute to the world instead of taking from it.
If leadership is about people, then servant leadership is essential.
But it’s also often misunderstood.
Leading Under: Serving People
The first thing everyone talks about with servant leadership is serving.
In the Christian world, we point to Jesus washing His disciples’ feet.
The Son of God bending down to do something considered beneath Him.
And leaders should be humble enough to serve.
This is what I call leading under the people.
It’s doing things below your pay grade. Not because you have to—but because you care.
These moments build connection. They show people you don’t see yourself as better than them, just entrusted with a different role.
This is foundational.
But it’s not complete.
Leading Beside: Listening to People
The second part of servant leadership is listening.
You listen to people’s ideas. Their concerns. Their desires.
You talk with them, not down to them.
You make sure they feel heard. And not just heard—but valued.
Even when you don’t agree, they know their voice mattered because they can see it in how you lead.
This is what I call leading beside the people.
And this requires you to truly believe that people are the most valuable part of what you’re doing.
Most teaching on servant leadership stops with these two: serving and listening.
But if leadership stops there, something dangerous happens.
You stop leading.
You start following.
You become a manager of people’s preferences instead of a leader of their potential.
To be a true servant leader, three more things are required.
Leading Over: Giving People Vision
A servant leader leads with vision.
This is leading over.
This is knowing where people need to go—even when they can’t see it yet.
Vision gives meaning to the work. It creates hope. It gives people something to reach for.
You can wash feet all day long and listen to every opinion, but if you don’t give people a direction, their work becomes routine and purposeless.
People need to know they are going somewhere.
Vision is not arrogance.
It’s responsibility.
And it is part of servant leadership.
Leading Behind: Pushing People to Grow
Servant leaders also lead behind.
They push people—not off a cliff—but forward into who they were created to become.
This takes patience. It takes belief. It takes courage.
You hold people accountable. You challenge them. You call more out of them than they would call out of themselves.
And over time, something powerful happens.
They grow.
Their confidence increases. Their ability expands.
Eventually, they don’t need as much pushing—because they’ve learned to push themselves.
That’s servant leadership.
Leading Ahead: Becoming the Example
Finally, servant leaders lead ahead.
You cannot lead people where you have never gone.
This is personal growth.
It’s developing yourself so you can lead others further.
Your family, your team, your church—they will only go as far as you are willing to go yourself.
People watch your life. Your character. Your discipline. Your integrity.
They follow what they see.
This is leadership by example.
Servant Leadership Is All Five
A true servant leader leads:
Under — by serving
Beside — by listening
Over — by casting vision
Behind — by pushing and developing
Ahead — by growing and setting the example
Jesus did all five.
He washed feet.
He listened deeply.
He cast vision of His Kingdom.
He pushed His disciples to grow.
And He went ahead of them as the example.
Servant leadership isn’t just serving people.
It’s serving them enough to lead them.
Reflection
Where in your leadership have you been serving—but avoiding leading?
Because people don’t just need someone willing to serve them.
They need someone willing to lead them.
Credit
The framework of leading under, beside, over, behind, and ahead is something I was exposed to through leadership teaching over the years, most likely from John Maxwell. The way it is presented here, the connection to the servant leadership concept and the conclusions drawn from it, reflect my own understanding and personal reflections on the subject.
phillipbrande.com 