Weak

I wish I wasn’t weak.

I want to be strong—
strong like David, Moses, Paul, and Joseph.

I wish I wasn’t weak.

I want to be strong.
No struggles.
No failures.
No mistakes.

I wish I wasn’t weak.

I want to be strong.
No embarrassments.
No shameful acts.
No moments where my head hangs low.

I wish I wasn’t weak.

I want to be strong.
A hero.
A man.
Unstoppable.

I wish I wasn’t weak.

I wish I was strong—
right all the time,
secure all the time,
solid all the time.

I wish I wasn’t weak.

I wish I was strong—
never giving in to temptation,
ignoring Satan’s lures,
righteousness as white as snow.

I wish I wasn’t weak.

I wish I was strong—
memory impeccable,
knowledge unmatched,
wisdom like Solomon’s.

I wish I wasn’t weak.

I wish I was strong—
someone God could depend on,
someone God could trust,
someone God was proud of.

I wish I wasn’t weak.

I wish I was strong—
strong enough to remain faithful,
strong enough to press toward the mark 24/7,
never—never—letting my guard down.

I wish I wasn’t weak.

I wish I was strong—
sending the devil packing,
depowering my flesh,
living by faith in the most significant way.

I wish I wasn’t weak.

“…the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don’t have what it takes. I can will it, but I can’t do it. I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don’t result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.

It happens so regularly that it’s predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God’s commands, but it’s pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.

I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I’m at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn’t that the real question?

The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.”

“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do.”
Romans 7:17b–8:3

I wish I wasn’t weak.

But I am thankful—deeply thankful—
Jesus is more than strong enough.