Daniel 1:10
We talk a lot about fear in parenting—and usually in a negative way.
We warn our kids not to be afraid.
We tell them fear is unhealthy, paralyzing, irrational.
And most of the time, that’s true.
But not all fear is bad.
In Daniel 1:10, we’re introduced to a kind of fear that is reasonable, and productive. The official responsible for Daniel and his friends was afraid—not because of what might happen, but because of what would happen if he didn’t produce the results his job required.
This was fear rooted in responsibility.
And responsibility is “married to” accountability.
That tension—If I succeed, this will happen; if I fail, this will happen—is uncomfortable. But it’s also healthy. It keeps us honest. It keeps us grounded in reality. And for our kids, learning to live inside that tension may be one of the greatest gifts we can give them.
Fear as an Organizing Principle
Scripture uses a Hebrew word for fear—yārēʼ—that means something different than panic or anxiety. It describes a person marked by reverential awe toward God and a sober awareness of real consequences.
This word shows up repeatedly in connection with:
- Covenant obedience
- Worship
- Wisdom
Abraham “feared God” when he trusted Him fully (Genesis 22:12).
The Hebrew midwives feared God more than Pharaoh (Exodus 1:17).
Honest commerce, fair courts, and compassionate leadership flow from hearts that fear the Lord (Leviticus 19).
Ecclesiastes 12:13 puts it plainly:
“Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.”
Fear, rightly understood, is not about control—it’s about accountability. It becomes life’s organizing principle.
That’s what made the official’s fear in Daniel 1 healthy. It didn’t distort reality. God was already at work—giving Daniel favor—but the man still had a job to do. The ten-day test made sense because it honored both divine trust and human responsibility.
Fear—the tension of accountability—helps us stay in line.
Teaching Kids What Actually Lasts
Daniel doesn’t just help us understand fear; he helps us understand the world our kids are growing up in.
In Daniel 2, the statue represents a succession of world empires—Babylon, Persia, Greece, Rome—each one powerful, impressive, and temporary. The metals decrease in value but increase in hardness. Human kingdoms grow stronger on the outside and poorer on the inside.
Then comes the stone.
Not formed by human hands.
Not absorbed into the system.
But crashing into it and replacing it entirely.
God’s kingdom doesn’t blend in—it endures.
That matters for parenting.
Our kids live in a world that looks shiny and strong. Babylon always does. But if we don’t teach them that God’s kingdom is the only thing that lasts, they’ll mistake temporary power for ultimate truth.
Parenting Shapes Identity Before Pressure Hits
Daniel and his friends carried something into Babylon that captivity couldn’t strip away—their identity.
Daniel: God is my Judge
Hananiah: The Lord is gracious
Mishael: Who belongs to God?
Azariah: The Lord helps
Who gave them those names?
Their parents.
Who passed down their faith?
Their parents.
Who held them accountable while pointing them toward the One who truly holds everyone accountable?
Their parents.
Parental control has an expiration date. Eventually, our kids make their own decisions, and when they do, they may live out what they were taught, walk away from it, or wrestle somewhere in between.
That’s why our job as parents isn’t to eliminate fear, but to plant the seeds of God-honoring morality. One day, our children will choose what they nurture. They will either grow what we planted—or allow something else to take its place.
But here’s the truth: they can’t choose what was never planted.
If we don’t do the work of shaping hearts, teaching accountability, and naming what honors God while they are young, they won’t suddenly develop those roots later. Parenting is preparation. We plant with intention, we model faithfully, and then we trust God with the growth.
The Fears That Matter
Healthy fear sounds like this:
- There’s a lot riding on what I do next.
- My choices have weight.
- I’m accountable.
Those tensions are good. They form character.
Do right—good follows.
Do wrong—and something is lost.
That’s not cruelty. That’s reality.
We teach our kids that the world is temporary—but God’s kingdom isn’t. Empires rise and fall, but they give way to the arrival of God’s kingdom, which will last forever.
Guardrails, Not Puppeteering
At some point, every parent reaches the same realization:
we don’t get to hold the steering wheel forever.
There comes a day when our kids step out from under our direct accountability and begin living under God’s. They will make choices—sometimes faithful ones, sometimes costly ones—and those choices will carry real weight.
That’s why parenting isn’t about eliminating fear; it’s about training discernment.
Healthy fear teaches our kids that life is not weightless. That decisions matter. That obedience brings life and rebellion costs something. Those lessons don’t crush a child’s spirit—they anchor it.
Our role as parents is to hold the guardrails long enough for faith to take root, plant godly seeds in our children’s hearts, and continually point them to the One who ultimately holds them accountable.
We don’t raise kids to escape Babylon.
We raise kids who can live faithfully within it.
And when the world around them shines brightly, promises much, and demands compromise, the fear of the Lord—the right kind of fear—will steady their steps.
And that is why parenting isn’t about removing fear—it’s about preparing our children to live faithfully when we’re no longer holding the wheel.
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