Hurt

There is no way around it.

People hurt other people over the stupidest of things. Because for some, issues are more important than your relationship with them. Whereas it seemed they were people that were there to help – you find out that they were really around you to promote their agenda rather than have a close relationship with you. They wanted power and conformity instead of strong community.

Nothing but pain and hurt can come from of a relationship like that.

There are several reasons this hurts…

You thought you were close but you were not even close to being close.

You thought they valued the relationship as much as you did, but their lack of value was seen when they nickeled and dimmed you with their list of grievances.

They made you the bad guy when you had never struck out against them at all.

but then you wonder…

How did I fall for this? Why couldn’t I see from the start their true intentions?

Am I really that gullible?

Why did I trust them more than I should have?

How did I miss that they didn’t really care about the relationship but was more concerned with other things that aren’t as important?

How did I miss that they wanted me to think exactly like they think rather than have freedom of thought?

These are the things that are hard to get over.

They hurt.

but…

the good news is hurt like this allows you to gain perspective.

Whereas you wish it had never happened, it did and you accept it.

Whereas you wish that there would be some sort of healthy relationship in the future you accept the fact – for now there- can’t be one.

You gain a perspective on forgiveness. Yes you forgive them for what they have done and you forgive yourself for being blind to it – while accepting the fact that things will never be the same because of what has happened. After all, things were not what you thought they were in the first place, so you accept the reality that has been brought to your attention and live in it. They were never really as close to you as you thought they were.

Then there is the last observation.

A life freeing reality.

God prunes people out of your life from time to time and once they are gone for a while – you realize they had been dragging you down and you just didn’t realize it.

So the hurt becomes a tool of freedom and opens the door to a future of unhindered growth in Christ.