The devil has played a new play on me….
Of course it could be an old one and I’m just now recognizing it.
It was brilliantly laid down and executed and patiently he has awaited my unraveling.
He knows me very well.
The card he played was a pain card… but not just any pain. It’s the pain of loss and fear.
Now at this point in this blog I need to say, do not become concerned for me, and don’t try to fix it someway… it’s all good.
I have, for a very long time in my life not allowed anyone to really get close to my heart. For years I have limited myself to my immediate family and a very small handful of close friends. Over the years the people that have been in that handful have changed. Some, because I realized some meant more to me than I did to them, others because well… just because. Outside of that handful is some close friends but not as close as the handful ( if you know what I mean.) and then well …. I really don’t need to unpack the rest of it…
(It would be a book at that point that talked in depth about types of friendships we all have in life – don’t have space for that )
…. other than to say I love everyone, including those who would say I’m their enemy.
I “recently” had a “loss” in this area that I’m just not over. Tonight, I realized for the first time how much it has effected me.
Now this is where the Lord comes in…
When this “loss” or better yet, “change” occurred, I begin letting more people into the outer circle that surrounds my handful of friends. I’ve even slipped a little and let some people into the “handful” . This probably needed to happen and is God working things out for His good…
But the enemy knew this would happen (maybe) and now there is a fear of losing even more than has already been “lost”.
Unknowingly, at least consciously, I have been battling this for a “few” weeks not really knowing what the “it” was until tonight, when I became emotional about it on the way home from church.
Again, do not become come concerned or prescribe depression medication just yet… it’s all good. Remember, I’m writing about it on a public blog site. If it was a cry for help this would not be my venue.
It amazes me sometimes, the craftiness and strategic elusive nature of our enemy. He can put things in motion in our lives without looking like he has put things in motion knowing good and well the end result will be fear and discouragement.
But my amazement of him is like a match that can’t be lit in comparison to my amazement of God.
For God doesn’t allow him to work things out for our defeat,regardless of how crafty he is, but instead God works things he is trying to do to us out for our good and not his….
After all we are people of victory through the blood of Christ…
And at the end of the day that Blood is his downfall.
Thank you Jesus!