“I’ve Got a Bad feeling about this…”

Sometimes I wake up in the morning and I get this bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.  I’m never really sure what it is but it shows up.

This morning it was triggered by photographs of friends from the past and memories that surrounded that period in my life. The hurt, the pain that came not from them but from others…

and the thought that I didn’t really know what I was doing back then

The troublesome reality now is, I still do not know what I am doing.

I’m not sure if it is because I am getting older, or that I’m tired or if it’s something else but I know that sometimes I wonder if the way I do things is indeed the best way to do them.

And that thought intensifies the bad feeling

A feeling that quickly identifies itself as fear.

A feeling that is hard to kick.

So today I will seek the Lord a with a bit more purpose,

I will seek Him with a bit more self reflection

I will seek Him knowing He knows what He is doing

and when He is at work through me that’s all that matters.