Trust Vs Suspision

I was talking with a friend of mine yesterday that referenced a “talk” he once heard on this topic. I’ve thought a lot about it since we spoke and these two words are more powerful for your church, family, business, or any place really where people are interacting with each other than you might initially think. Here are a few thoughts…

Suspicion and Trust cannot coexist in your relationships. You either trust or suspect thus setting the tone for conflict or peace.

You decide which one you are going to infuse into those relationships. If someone has promised to do something for you and they do not accomplish that task on time (or at all) you have a choice to either say (“well they are not that organized, they should have done better, they are so self centered, I have noticed that they are not as good as I once thought they were, I just cant trust them to do anything”, etc…) statements of suspicion that once said hinder your relationship with that person in a negative way. Or you could say (“they must have had something come up, I hope they are ok, they have a goos reason for this, they are good people,”) statements of trust that strengthen your relationship with that person because you have decided to hold your relationship in a positive light by trusting in them. It is giving the benefit of the doubt. You basically go to their defense to say “hey they have to have a good reason for this”. This sets up a more positive environment than suspicion ever will and will have an impact on the types of conflicts you will deal with in the future.

My friend said yesterday that in a relationship there are gaps. Relationship gaps. Everyone has them. When one happens like the example above, you determine what you are going to fill the gap with. You either fill those gaps with negative personal accusations (because it’s not criticism BTW) or something positive, giving them the curtsy of the benefit of the doubt that you would want for yourself.

So those are my initial thoughts… I’m going to research this topic a little more. It’s important I think, but for now remember – suspicion is the fuel for a conflictive blow up down the road. Trust is the fuel for conflict resolution. And even if it comes to light that your trust was misplaced, it still turns about better than suspicion being placed in the gap ever would.